Friday, March 12, 2010

now behold the lamb

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I got great news

Well I have great news Id love to share! Though life has taught us lots of lessons this year and some still to come, I am at peace. We had some trials and we pressed on and now we have found peace. We went to a church that we adored from the first time and found some truly great folks. My hubby told me in our shearch for a new church, that he had been invited to this place by several of his friends. He later told someone that he felt led to at least visit this new church. So finally we decided to go. What we found was unbelievable! We went in and saw folks we hadnt seen in years. We knew mst of the people there. The good part was that the music program was AWESOME! THey have a very talented piano player and a drummer! Great music which is my thing. THe best part was the preaching service. He is so gifted as well. The way he preaches is so informative and I am certian even a small child would be able to understand. I just love it! So... Gabe and I did a little talking and we joined the church this morning. I feel like I truly did what God was asking and I feel very fulfilled! I also believe that I may have found a super bff! He is the piano player. I just love being around him and mostly its because he truly seeks the will of God in his life. I think he will definately be a big support to Gabe and a great friend to me. I learned this when he came by one day. Just so happend to be the night before a big test I had to have done. He was getting ready to leave and he asked could he pray WITH me for the prep to go well and the test as well. I have no friends who have offered to do that for me. God is so good. Now my only issue is that I want him to visit every day. Im sure he may have other friends as well but I am being a friend pig! He nor Gabe seem to mind!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Some big big news!

Hello again finally! I have many many things to cover so bear with me. This summer has hosted some of the most hurtful things and some of the most revieling things. I have learned so much about myself and some of my "friends". I would like to share some of these things. I learned that truly church is not a building but who fills it. We have been battling all summer with some situations in our lives that is life altering to say the least. My sis and her husband went out and started up a resturant. They have spent countless hours working together and of course the issues that goes with spending every moment together. Its just not for some. They have survived and hapily, so has their relationship. The pain starts here! Of course when you belong to a church and you start towards trials and troubles, you call on these folks to help out either by prayer or physical help. Naturally we did ask for prayers but each Sunday became another judgement day. If you will recall in an earlier post I put that I had found the scripture that speaks of grace exteded instead of judgement. Well, this is where doing the background on that verse would help. See it says that a person who has done some pretty bad things ask for forgivness and God grants it. Then another who has not done so much "bad" things ask for forgivness and gets it. Out of the two, who do you think is most grateful for forgivness? Obviously the one who would be most grateful would be the one who had the most forgiven. This judgement we recieved was by the ones who may not have had as much grace extended so they didnt feel the need to give much grace either. Once a person gets away from the truth that we have all come short of all we could do to give to God, you start to leave cracks in the door of your heart to allow even more bitterness and envy and greed and well all the things the devil is. Soon it gets easier and easier to harbor and nurture these types of feelings. Then of course what is in your heart starts to make an appearence. I do not want anyone who reads this to think I am or have ever thought I am above this very same thing happening to me. Actually, I know the routine because it did happen to me several years ago. Anyways, once their hearts were filled and spilling over all the hateful, manipulative junk there was some things done and said that became more than some of us could take. We realized and we walked away from our home church and the building that held it. The church was a group of 30+ people and everyone but 8 left. I believe by staying I was encouraging their misdeeds. Nonetheless, I have been where they are and even though they feel like they "won" this battle, I know in my heart, because of where I have been myself, that they are miserable. Proud, but miserable! I have spent my summer begging God to take away the bitterness, anger, and hatefulness out of me towards them because I cannot be of service to God if I am doing what they did. I do feel so much better in my faith now that most of that meaness is out of my heart. I learned just how hard it truly is to extend grace to those who despitefully use you. I did learn it though and I have been praying for them that they too would recieve a revelation and beg God to take away their meaness. In this process, though very painful, we have found a church we adore. So far and what we have heard, there is no judgement from these people. They care and they love and they try to serve God with all they have. I can hardly wait till the next service. I couldn't say that about the other church for a few years now.
I know there are hopefully some folks reading this who maybe has been through the same thing or are going through the same kind of situation. I beg of you, dont leave that church and God. Ask God to lead you where you can get away from the bitterness and those folks. Then sit back and watch God pick you up and take you to an even better place. Thats what we did and It feels so good to be surrounded by people who love God and each other. There is a place where there is no judgement just grace! I promise!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Summer Time Blues!

I know lots of time has passed since I posted. Lots of things have gone on since I posted. I guess I just truly needed a break after the evnets of last school year. Having a child, I no longer mesure time in moths it is measured in shool time. Just over the summer and, not including the drama that the school year held, we have had some interesting stuff going on around us. My sister opened her own resturant and it is wonderful food and lots of effort from other members of our family. We took a few trips to Nashville cuz Gabes grand mother had "valve-replacement" surgery and it went terribly wrong. After all that she only has GOd to thank for saving her. Then we were camping at my sis' resturant and my dad had a bad heart attack. Withing 12 hours they had rushed him to UT Medical center and put in a stint. 100% blockage! Guess who also gets all the credit for my dad being alive?! GOD! of course. So I have not been reading as much or most of the things I usually do but one thing I have done this summer is proritize my life. There were some things I was doing during school that originally started out as ways of spending quality time with my child that ended up being something else I had to do that she couldnt disrupt me. I have given it all up and I felt good the day I give it up. I feel even better now because I have been able to recharge. I hope to do things with her this year that truly are constuctive quality time. She is growing so fast into her own idividual self. Sweet! I will try to post more often and about better stuff but for now this is howmy summer has gone.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

An Epiphany!

I have been reading!!! Yeah Yeah, you knew that. Anyways the series I have been reading has given me a glimpse into some things I have thought but never knew how to say. I guess thats why I am so into these books. Anyways, my point is that through out this series, I have found ways to search the bible for what I am looking for. I felt really at peace with what I have found and am very greatful for the privalege to experience true peace at times when the story goes to refrence about God's peace. Its like I was feeling his presence too. So, last Sunday I was sitting at church and our pastor gave his scripture and so I grabbed my Bible and highlighter and followed along. Much to my surprise, he began to read and it hit me like a ton of lead. This is what I have never found in God's word. I have always believed this saying but never knew where to find it in the bible. The saying is this "Sometimes, the worst sinner makes the best Christan". I have believed that only through wittnessing it personally. I look at it as God's way of being "real" to me. Id like to sare that scripture with you.
St. Luke Ch 7 vs.41-43 " There was a certian creditor which had two debtors: the one owed him five hundred pence, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most..."
So there I am wondering how one person can live all their life believing in God and playing the part of being a good christian, who is always the first to judge, be unforgiving and stir strife between other christans, and here it is in black and white and red. Its Jesus talking and showing us that the ones who have sinned more are the one who are more greatful for having been forgiven.
Now by no means am I saying that we should all give ourselves a trip "around the block", just maybe we should try to consider the next time you see your sister or brother in Christ struggling, we should tell God on them instead of telling others or maybe we should extend grace to them insted of standing and talking about them and if we see our church family breaking down try to stand in the gaps and make a hedge of protection for them. This all comes with having a relationship with Christ. We all know a realtionship is two sided and sometimes we have to talk to Him and tell Him about our struggles... and sometimes we have to listen to what He is telling us. I just had to share this with all the people I care for. I hope it touches and teaches you all just as it did me.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My life! (this month)

So yes I have been reading alot and...Soccer, Girl Scouts, Bible Study, mom, wife...ect. As for soccer, we have a child on our team that I am certian will one day be payed to play. That leaves us with a very exciting winning streak. Now, just so you all know, I think there is very little(outside of being unruly) that could make me think any less than that my child is the very BEST! However, she is not the child on our team who will one day be a pro soccer player. I have had to accept that she is not the only kid on earth who can do well and that by only encouraging her to try her best will I fully make her reach her highest standards. The kid I am referiing to is a great kid and though I am totally stoked to see such tallent, I am equally proud that my child is just as good at being a team player and allowing herself to help this player out on the field. Whether it be to defend the other goal or pass the ball because she is sure he can put it in it.
Girl Scouts!!! wow thats somthing else all together. I originally started GS to spend quality, constructive time with Shy and her friends all while she learns some very important qualities about being a female and a friend. What it has become is me having to push her away most of the time to get finished with the technicalities of being the "Leader". So, Im not sure if or how GS will play a part in our future. Its been a long troop year and at this point I am looking forward to it being done.
READING!!!! This has become my very passion. I am so new still at this and I am still learning to prioritize correctly but I am so sucked into the books I am reading that I dont really even care about doing the other things that used to tie up my time. For instance: I havent see one full episode of "HouseMD, Grey's Anatomy", or anything els in so long, Im not even sure whats going on. Even the www. I havent been on more than 3 times a week in a few months. Thats fine with me though. I am learning so much about the things that make up my world: God, Family, friends ect. I wanted to actually look up the little pictures of the books I have read and post them on here but, I am to a really good part in my newest series of books that I just dont have time! IRONIC HUH? All this is thanks to my bff who has read a book a week since before she was 10. Thanks Kathy, really!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Life!

Well, I have been puring myself into books. So far the ones I have read are by only three authors and they are so good. I feel like reading is helping me learn more about the bible. Each book has had lessons or scripture in them and it truly does help. I have read "the dead dont dance" and "Maggie" from Charles Martin. THease are good books that teach you about God's love and how He can make it all right if you give Him a chance. I also have been into Francine Rivers becasue she has written books that parallel books of the bible. GREAT BOOKS!!! My next new find is Karen Kingsbury. Her books are life changeing books. Once you have read one of her books then you cannot say you havent seen a change either in yourself or seen someone differently. I have heard lots of people say that they are life changing books and now I know for my self that this is true. I just finished the 911 series and I would suggest it to anyone. This too is why I havent been blogging as much. Now I must get back to reading. I got three good books to keep me busy all weekend long.

In the past several weeks we had our Girl Scout Daddy/daughter dance. This is a picture of my dad and my daughter. Her daddy had to work but that was totally fine with my dad. THey had a blast and shared so many wonderful memories.